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Married…with Children

January 26, 2013

Congratulations!  You’ve met and married the man or woman of your dreams.  You love each other deeply and can’t imagine life without your handsome hubby or wise wifey.  Now you have one or two other reasons to be happy and in love – your children.  Whether you’ve just had your first, or you are contemplating a fourth, you are (mostly) loving being a parent to your little (or-not-so-little-anymore) ones.

You’ve thought about getting an estate plan – maybe your parents have even brought it up – but as of yet you haven’t had an estate plan drafted and executed for you.  What do I mean by an estate plan?  The basic estate planning documents: will, power of attorney, health care directives, and possibly a trust for both you and your spouse.

Contemplating an estate plan is not a pleasant thought process to go through.  You are forced to consider what would happen if you, your spouse, or both of you died or were physically/mentally impaired.  After that disturbing thought, you have to think about who would (or could) take care of your children.

Maybe you and your spouse have started the conversation about estate plans but stopped when it became too (emotionally) difficult to talk about your death.  Maybe you and your spouse can’t agree who would be best to care for your children.  He thinks his brother is best, but you think your sister would be a better guardian.  Maybe you can’t think of a good family member or members to care for your children and are stuck as to what to do next.  Maybe you don’t think it’s worth the cost – it’s not like you’ve been able to amass much wealth between childcare, diapers, and student loan repayments – and the likelihood of anything happening to both you and your spouse in the next 15 years is slim.

Well today I’m going to go through the main sticking points and take down these mental roadblocks to better help you and your family.

Talking about death is a difficult conversation to have with your spouse, let alone with your attorney as well.  However, it’s a very important conversation to have.  While the chances of you needing any of your estate planning documents in the next 50 or so years are small, they are still very important documents to have.  They’re kind of like insurance – while you hope you don’t need them, if you do not have them and end up requiring them, a tragedy turns into a legal, emotional, and financial poop-storm.

The intention behind this article is not meant to scare you.  I’m not trying to present a dire situation like one of those home-security TV ads, where the wife and children are home alone and someone tries to break in and rob/hurt them.  Rather, it is meant to be persuasive and informative: an estate plan will make an unthinkable tragedy much more manageable for both you and your loved ones.  With an estate plan you get to decide who will take care of your children and how your assets are distributed.

“But Claire,” you say, “I already told you my wife and I can’t decide who would be best to care for our Freddy and Charlie.”  Well, that’s something a holistic attorney can help you with.  A good attorney will draft your documents how you want them.  An excellent (read: holistic) attorney will guide you through the process by answering and anticipating your needs besides simply your legal needs.  Estate planning often brings emotional and financial struggles to the surface and out in the open.  As Minnesotans, we would much rather keep the “difficult” conversations tucked away in a dark corner rather than pushing them to the forefront.

There are options for guardians and conservators (the people who will take care of the day-to-day and financial well-being of your children if you cannot) that are not immediately apparent that we can discuss.  Not all families have close or able family members available, and feel as though it is inappropriate to ask someone else.  There are several options we can discuss with your specific family in mind.  We no longer live in a cookie-cutter world, and your estate plan will reflect your unique and specific circumstances.

Finally, the cost of an estate plan.  It’s the white elephant in the room nobody wants to discuss.  You can “shop around” various law firms to see what services they will provide you at what price.  By asking for an initial consultation, you’re not locking yourself into an arrangement with any particular attorney or firm – at least not until you sign a retainer agreement (contract).

While the prices quoted to you may seem high, compare to other insurance.  A well drafted estate plan can last you for years.  Compare that to what you pay monthly this or annually on car, renters or homeowners, even medical insurance.  It is certainly an investment, but a very good investment compared to the thousands of dollars spent on other insurance.  And since this estate plan will not only protect you and your children, but also help your friends and family.  It makes legal, financial and emotional sense to get your estate plan started today.

Contact Claire through email at: Claire@trallelaw.com or by phone at: 612-787-2553.  The initial consultation is free if you mention this post.