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How to Have a Difficult Conversation with an Aging Parent (Part 2)

September 26, 2019

After you have determined it might be time to talk
with your parent or parents about their health and aging, it is time to have a conversation.  See
Part 1.

First, talk with other important family members and friends.  Decide who should help you with this new stage in life.  Is your parent married?  Can their spouse help, or are both spouses in need of assistance?  What about siblings? Even if the siblings do not live locally, they can help and should be aware of the situation.  Other family members or close friends?  Can a neighbor be a part of the team?  Do you have a cousin who lives nearby or is in the healthcare field and they can offer information or help?  But, make a list of who can help and who should be in the loop.

Second, have a sit down meeting.  This should include the people you have identified as helpful individuals in addition to your aging parent.  You do not want to make this an ambush.  This conversation should not come with accusations or blame.  It should come from a place of dignity and respect.

The SPIKES protocol can be a helpful starting place to guide the conversation.  You want to look at the Setting of where and how the conversation will take place, your parent’s Perception engaging them with the conversation.   Invite the parent into the conversation by asking permission to begin, then share the Knowledge of what you and other have seen.  Make sure to be Emphatic with your parent and their feelings.

Finally, recognize that the aging process did not happen overnight, and neither will the initial conversation or the new plan.  This can be a difficult time for all involved, and having family or community support can make the process easier.

The information in this blog series are intended to provide information only.  No legal advice is being provided or implied via this blog post.  No attorney-client relationship is formed by providing this information.  An attorney-client relationship with Tralle Law, LLC is formed only after a retainer contact is signed by all parties.